A final farewell: Honor guards pay respects at military funerals (2024)

Army Maj. Eric Gass finds it difficult to talk about the times he carried a meticulously folded American flag and placed it in the trembling hands of a young widow.

Seeing children cling to their mother’s side during the funerals of their killed-in-action fathers is difficult to take — no matter how many times he’s done it.

“Recalling the (killed in action) funerals sets me back emotionally for days. … I become distant and closed off,” said Gass, 58, of North Huntingdon, a member of a Military Funeral Honors Team. He has attended more than 3,400 veterans’ funerals in his nearly 30 years of service.

Gass presses on because he believes in the mission of the military honor guard. Memorial Day, which is observed Monday, is particularly powerful.

Many of the local honor guards will be at ceremonies this holiday weekend at cemeteries across Western Pennsylvania, including at the National Cemetery of the Alleghenies in Cecil, Washington County. The ceremony there will be held at 11 a.m. Sunday.

Each of the 100 American flags welcoming visitors to the cemetery this weekend was once draped over a veteran’s coffin or accompanied an urn, according to cemetery Director Edward A. Hajduk.

“This is a place where they can now rest for eternity and for their families to know we won’t forget them,” Hajduk said.

Military Honor Guards play a significant role in those funerals, ensuring that those who died while serving the country — and veterans who passed long after their service — receive full military funeral honors. The Department of Defense gave every eligible veteran the option to have military funeral honors beginning Jan. 1, 2000.

An honor guard detail consists of no fewer than two members of the Armed Forces — the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines or Coast Guard. One member of the detail represents the parent service of the deceased veteran.

Full military honors include the sounding of taps, the firing of rifles and the presenting of a meticulously folded flag to the next of kin.

Depending on available resources and personnel, other elements may be added, such as a rifle volley, color guard, pallbearers, caisson — a wheeled cart designed to carry artillery ammunition or a casket— and a military flyover.

Being a part of the honor guard can be emotionally draining, Gass said.

“I relive the sadness of the family left behind and their loss … and I find myself angry,” he said. “I cannot go back and bring forth those days’ events. I put up a wall, so to speak, as a form of defense for myself, otherwise I become useless. I have seen the sadness of thousands of deaths … some timely given the age of some veterans and some that would seem untimely and tragic.”

Continuing commitment

For military funerals, a funeral director will contact the appropriate military service, VFW, American Legion or other organization that has an honor guard.

Hajduk is in contact with 19 veteran groups. He said he has not had trouble scheduling an honor guard, but there are fewer people as time goes on. Many younger veterans have full-time jobs, and often there is only a few days’ notice to attend a funeral.

“We want to keep this going forever,” Hajduk said. “It’s a tradition. There are ladies and gentlemen standing out there in freezing cold and extreme heat. They do it because of their devotion to honor their brothers and sisters, and they want the ceremony to be perfect because there aren’t any do-overs.”

Rocco D’Astolfo, 84, a Navy veteran from Greensburg, received a call from John A. Graziano, president and supervisor at Hartman-Graziano Funeral Home in Latrobe, for a funeral Monday for veteran Kathryn “Kay” Herb, 101, of Latrobe. She was given full military honors at Unity Cemetery in Westmoreland County.

D’Astolfo said Greensburg VFW Post 33 has 25 members, including his daughter Alisha, who is commander at the post. But there is still a need for more as members age. He and his fellow honor guard veterans attend about 90 funerals a year.

D’Astolfo knows how it feels to lose a family member who was killed in action. He lost his brother-in-law in Vietnam in 1968 who was a teenager.

“That was tough,” D’Astolfo said. “It is real important to be there, and I am proud to do it.”

Honor guards travel to any cemetery. The National Cemetery of the Alleghenies averages eight funerals a day. The cemetery had 54 interments of veterans, spouses or dependents just this past week.

After every funeral, Edward Prohaska of Springdale, who served in the Marines, said he reaches out to the family of the deceased. He said honor guards are always looking for new members. At one of the funerals, the son of the deceased, also a veteran, inquired about joining.

Prohaska joined the service because of his father, a World War II veteran. Prohaska’s daughter May is in the Army National Guard and serves as an honor guard member.

“Our commitment does not end at the grave,” Prohaska said. “We talk with the family members and let them know we are here for them.”

Gass has been part of funerals for repatriated soldiers — soldiers killed in action who would be found by a Hawaii-based team that goes around the world to bring them home — in addition to soldiers from the Civil War, World War I, World War II, Korean War, Vietnam, Desert Shield/Storm, Afghanistan, Iraq and Peace Team. Gass recalled the funeral for World War I Pvt. Carl Willig, whose remains were found in France 91 years after he was killed during World War I.

Gass also presented a flag during a ceremony with full military honors for Charles Kimple, a Pittsburgh-area Civil War soldier, at Allegheny Cemetery in Lawrenceville in 2015. Kimple died in 1890. For another young veteran, Gass presented the flag to his 5-year-old son.

“The boy stood up and saluted me. … I got a big lump in my throat,” Gass said. “We stay in touch. He took me to ‘bring a hero to school’ day.”